


Beneath a grey sky

by tenmillionotters



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, Apocalypse, Human AU, Human Trafficking, Multi, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-20
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2019-03-07 10:05:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 4,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13432419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tenmillionotters/pseuds/tenmillionotters
Summary: Maybe that’s why we’re all doomed, because we found God in a time where he doesn’t even look at us.





	1. Confession

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [In a green sea](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13374774) by [tenmillionotters](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tenmillionotters/pseuds/tenmillionotters). 



> This is the prequel to 'In a green sea', for a better understanding of the story it's crucial to read the other piece first.

“This is the 5th time you came here this week,” he sighed and shut the file, “Do you want me to dissect you or something?” 

“N-No, I just need something for my stomach ache that’s all…”, why were doctors always like this? All he needed was something to ease the unrest he felt ever since he came back here, no it started sooner… but it wasn’t the anticipation of his return that made him feel like this. 

“So your symptoms were… sweaty palms, you can’t sleep at night, your heart is racing, your stomach feels _funny_...”, he looked up and noticed that his patient didn’t pay any attention to him anymore, instead he was watching the nurse with a soft smile on his face, “Ui, I think you’re just in love.” 

“I’m what -?”, he felt the file hit his head lightly, “But Maru I’m sure I’m -” 

“Do you want me to dissect you for real? Just tell it to her already, you’re wasting the time I need for other patients,” and he was already gone. 

Was he really just in love…? There was no room in his life for things like love, but at the same time, when he was really honest, knowing that she was always here when he returned made it easier to fight. Yet, there was no guarantee for him that he would return every time he left and so it was uncertain if he could tell her how he felt if he wouldn’t do it now. 

Love… confessing it sounded more unpleasant than being dissected by Maru for real, but they were living in a time of war. Everything was uncertain right now, so he had to take yet another risk. 

“Ihei, can I talk to you for a second?” 

“Yes, what is it?”, her steps were so light and her smile was so bright, “Does your stomach still hurt?” 

“... no, it’s something else…”, great, it was easier for Maru to comment on what he saw than it was for Ui to admit that he felt something he didn’t want to feel in first place. 

“Oh…?”, the smile faded from her face and all that was left was confusion, “What is?”

It was harder to find the right words than to pull the trigger of his gun, it was harder to open up than it was to kill. 

“I… I… there’s… something I wanted to tell you for a long while now… w-well I wasn’t really sure… that I did,” was it normal that he felt like laughing right now? “It’s just a feeling I had, for a while now. You know… when I was away, I always thought about coming back here, how you’d tend my wounds and scold me for being reckless. I thought about all the times you smiled and told me you’re glad I’m back. Thinking about you always makes it easier to be strong.” 

“Koori…”

“I know I shouldn’t have thoughts like this, I’m a soldier after all, but leaving gets harder knowing you’re so far away from me. Knowing you’re here is always connected to uncertainty, I hope you’re safe, but I can’t be sure and that really makes it hard to sleep at night… what I’m trying to say is…”, it felt like this wasn’t even happening, maybe he was dreaming right now, “I love you.” 

“... Koori…”, Ihei felt his hands wrap around hers, her body was shaking as she couldn’t hold back the tears, “Koori you idiot…”

Did he say something wrong? 

“I love you too -”, her bell bright laughter filled the room as she fell into his arms and hugged him tightly, “I love you so much.”


	2. To an uncertain future

“... do you think they’ll be angry if they find me here…?”, Koori pulled Ihei closer and kissed her forehead, she was bare naked but her skin was still glowing. He didn’t know how much time had passed between the confession and a mindless state of bliss. 

“Itsuki said it’s okay if I leave for the rest of the day,” she laughed and lied down on Koori who pulled a grimace, “What?” 

“Do you have to talk about him right after we…”, okay, without him he would have probably died without ever confessing to Ihei, but still. 

“Hm… what do you want to talk about then?”, it was so funny to tease him, was he jealous? If so, then he had real reason to be. 

“... what do you want to do once the war is over…?”, he let his hands run through her hair and felt as he lost something staring into her light eyes. 

“I don’t know, I never thought about it… I’ll probably stay with my family,” but it seemed to make her sad, “I love them… and I always thought we’d stay together… but I’m just a cousin. It feels like their family is complete… with Chika and everyone else.” 

“Then stay with me,” was it selfish of him to ask for something like that? “I don’t have a family of my own and I have no place to go, so let’s just look for a place where we can settle down.” 

“And then we’ll open a small shop,” their fingers intertwined and Ihei rested her head on his chest, “I always wanted to be a baker… we could open a little coffee shop. You could make hot drinks and I’ll make sandwiches and sweets.” 

“... and we’ll have a lot of guests, our friends will also come to visit,” Koori held her tighter and kissed her hair, “I think that sounds like an amazing plan. What would you name our café?” 

“Hm… I don’t have anything particular in mind yet… but I want it to be small and cozy, with large windows so we don’t need lamps. I want it to be flooded with warm sunshine…”, she sighed and buried her head in his chest, “I miss being above ground…” 

“Me too… but it won’t be too long until the war is over…”, was he being too hopeful now? “And then we can leave this place behind forever. We can marry when we’re above ground too…” 

“Do you think we’ll be allowed to?” 

Koori sat up and hugged her tightly, “... once this war is over they can’t force me to follow their rules anymore. Ihei Hairu… I know it’s probably too quick… and I know we have to wait until it’s all over… but… will you marry me?” 

She felt her heartbeat rising to her head, all she could hear was the soft rush of her blood flowing through her ears, “Y-Yes… I do.”


	3. Seven months

“You’re still hanging around here.” 

“Let him, please…”, Ihei smiled at her superior and kissed her fiancé’s forehead, “We don’t know when he’ll leave again.” 

Itsuki sighed and wrapped his patients arm in a thick bandage, “As long as you’ll focus on your work, I don’t really care what you do, but please keep in mind that we’re here too work and not for anything else.” 

But he always said things he didn’t actually mean so Ihei just slumped down on Koori’s lap and rested her head against his, “We just need to clean up and our shift is over…” Now it was quiet in their small office. As long as the soldiers were fighting some place unknown to them they just had to treat minor injuries. She didn’t mind, but she noticed how nervous Itsuki got. 

“I am sure they’ll come back soon.” 

Even though her words were meant to reassure him, he shuddered and nodded, he quietly cleaned up before he left. They only watched him walk out of the room, letting the door fall shut behind him. 

“Jesus… what’s wrong with him this time?”, Koori rolled his eyes but stopped when he noticed Ihei’s displeasure about his gesture. 

“He misses Chika, that’s all… he’s been gone since almost 7 months now, I think it gets harder to wait the more time you spend around each other,” she wrapped her arms around his neck and pecked his lips, “You know, when I first came here I wasn’t bothered about you being gone… but after 3 years I do thing I got used to you.” 

“Wow, you’re mean,” but he still laughed and kissed her playfully, “Okay… I mean I thought a lot about you too while I was gone, but I knew I would always come back to you. I am sure your cousin will come back and our good doctor will be happy again.” 

“... but how did you know you’d come back to me…?”, in times like these everything was uncertain, wishful thinking could breed false hope that would destroy them in the end. 

“Because I hadn’t confessed my feelings to you yet,” he held her tightly in his arms as he lifted her up and spun her around, “I knew I had to come back to tell you how much I love you. I love you, Ihei.” 

“S-Stop you’re making me dizzy!”, she playfully kicked her feet and laughed, “I love you too Ui Koori!” 

“Sorry to interrupt… but did the doctor already leave?” 

The young soldier almost dropped his fiancée as he heard the voice that belonged to a dirty looking figure that stood in the door frame, “G-General W-Was-shuu, he already left, Sir.” 

“Chika!”, to Ihei ranks and titles didn’t matter, instead she fought her way out of Koori’s grasp and ran towards her cousin that opened his arms wide for her. 

“Hey, it’s so good to see you again,” a wide smile formed on his lips as he hugged the young woman tightly, “How’s everyone been? Where’s Maru?” 

“... he already went back to his quarter… I think he’s asleep already. The kids are asleep too,” the young woman wrinkled her nose and pulled on her cousins hair, “You stink, you need to shower first and cut that beard off too - you look old…” 

“I was gone for seven months and this is all you have to say to me?”, he pinched her nose before he turned to Koori, “Don’t look at me like that I am glad that you finally confessed to her.” 

“Excuse me…?” 

Chika sighed and brushed his fingers through his hair, “It was obvious. Also, you often cried her name out during the night, I could barely sleep because you were sobbing so loudly. I hope that’ll stop now that you finally confessed.” 

“You cried out my name in your sleep?”

God, this was uncomfortable, he looked down on the ground then up to Ihei, once he felt ready to be mocked, but instead he met a worried look, “I’m not going anywhere, don’t worry.” She waltzed over to him and hugged him tightly. 

“... I’m still scared that I’ll never see you again…”, Koori let his fingers sink into her hair and leaned in to kiss her, but he pulled back the moment he realised they weren’t alone. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll get going now, but don’t do anything in here your boss wouldn’t do -”


	4. Radio Silence

“Nothing ever happens…”, Ihei let her head fall against Itori’s shoulder and sighed, “It’s so boring…” 

“When you talk like that you’re just asking bad luck to chase after you, I hope you know that,” even though she laughed there was something somber in her voice and a sober warning in her words, “When I was about your age I would say things like that too, and see where it got me.” 

“Well it brought you here, can’t be that bad... or?”, Ihei sighed and tried to embrace the other woman but she hastily stood up and let her fall onto her chair. 

“It’s not bad, I’ll admit that but there is a place I would rather be… there are people I miss, but I know I can’t return to them,” she was still limping, but since she spent most of her time around computers it didn’t really matter anyway, “Where did I put the screws… ah, there they are… You see, things weren’t exactly ideal before I came here, but I was happy.” 

“Where were you before?”, everyone who lived in this underground complex had a different story about how they ended up in this place, but they all had one thing in common, they were a part of the military. 

“I was stationed in a small town by the sea… it was long before he had to move underground. Back then I was still a soldier, a sniper. I was pretty good, also well trained in melee. You know, talking like this makes it sound like the military life was all I had but…”, it was hard for her to walk, the prosthesis they gave her didn’t fit right, but it was all they had right now, “There was something else I lived for.” 

“And what was that?” Her face was almost ageless, her long red hair tied up in a neat bun, but her eyes were old, they were broken, looking at them it felt like drowning in a sea that would never be calm again, “The boys I grew up with. We were basically inseparable. We did everything together… and we shared _everything_. When you’re that close to someone it feels like their body is your own.”

Ihei felt a blush cover her cheeks, she had only known the love she felt for Koori, she had seen the love between her cousin and her superior but she had never seen a love that was as passionate and desperate as the love that Itori revealed to her in this moment. 

Her hand slipped into her chest pocket and she pulled a notebook out, she carefully untied the thin leather band that kept it shut and opened it, “Here… it’s the only picture that exists of us together.” 

They were part of a large group, various people stood in front of a lighthouse, smiling brightly at the camera. “That’s Itsuki, he was 14 back then… this is me, I used to have very short hair, even shorter than the boys’ hair… this is… Uta… and this is Renji…” Her voice broke as she said their names, they were both two attractive young men with long light hair, smiling brightly into the camera as they held Itori’s hands. 

“Were they your…?” 

“We never really gave these feelings a name, you know… we were raised by the military, back then it was common practise for them sterilise female soldiers, when we would get pregnant we were useless for them, so they worked against it. They probably also hoped that it would keep us from having sex and falling in love… but sometimes you just can’t help it, things happen and to me, it was the most beautiful experience I ever made…” 

Ihei could only look at her, it felt as if they were miles apart even though they were in the same room. 

“... and yet… remembering it now it’s the worst feeling I know, it feels like God punished me for loving more than one person at a time,” her hands were shaking as they rubbed over her left thigh, “I got too greedy in a time where everyone was in need, it was probably a carnal sin to give my body to two men at once, but saying I didn’t love them would be a lie too…” 

How could she talk about things like that so freely…? 

“You don’t need to look at me so shocked, I know you got curious too once you felt your boyfriend touch your body. Maybe that’s why we’re all doomed, because we found God in a time where he doesn’t even look at us.”


	5. Between a sheet of paper

“And then the snow fairies left the meadow again…”, Ihei carefully shut the book and placed it beside her, Kishou had already fallen asleep while his twin sister was snuggling into their cousin’s side. 

“... if I were in their place I wouldn’t have left…”, she sniffled upset and clenched her small fists, “I want to see the sunshine… and I want to play in that meadow too.” 

“But they needed to leave because the mountains were calling for them, Rize,” it hurt to know that she might never see a place like this, a place where everything was green and peaceful, “Just like you want Chika to come back here, the snow fairies know that the mountain wants to see them again in the summer.” 

“Oh... then it’s okay,” a small smile formed on her lips, “I’m glad that aniki is back…” 

“Mhm, me too… now sleep,” once he was back the kids spend time with her again. Usually they never left Itsuki’s side, maybe they saw parents in their older brother and his boyfriend, but they also knew that they needed time just for each other. 

Just like Koori cried in his sleep, so did everyone else that missed someone in these times. But the kids never cried, they were either so used or numb to the situation that they didn’t understand just yet. 

“... Ihei…”, Kishou opened his eyes and looked up at her. 

“What’s wrong, little one?”

“... is there something in your tummy…?”, he carefully placed his hand on her stomach and yawned, “... I think there’s a little bird in your stomach…” 

Despite her cheerful laughter she felt a cold shiver run down her spine, “No silly… it’s the wolf in my tummy, he’s growling because I’m hungry.” 

Maybe she shouldn’t have said that because the shocked look on Kishou’s face made it seem like he was about to burst out in tears at any given moment. 

“Don’t worry, Kishou,” another voice reassured him, right after entering the room, “I got snacks for everyone. No wolf will eat you tonight.”

“Are you sure?”, his grey eyes were filled with anxiety and the wish to trust the reassuring words. 

“I am very sure, because I will protect you,” Koori patted his head and smiled at the boy, “No harm will come your way as long as I am here. I will protect you, Rize and Ihei.” 

The little boy nodded and went back to sleep, just when they were sure that the kids were fast asleep they exchanged questioning looks. 

“Do you think… that he’s right?”, he didn’t want to touch her stomach, not that he wouldn’t be happy but the anxiety he felt made it hard for him to find the right words and thoughts. 

“I am not sure…”


	6. Lowering numbers

“... it’s not going to be for long,” Koori tried to smile but looking at his fiancée made it hard to even pretend that he was okay with the turn things took. 5 Months were nothing compared to the time he would spend away from her… and the baby, “Please take care of yourself.” 

She closed her eyes as she felt his lips press against her forehead, she tried to hold his hand tighter but let go. A sharp sting pierced through her chest as she looked into his eyes, “Koori I -” 

The only thing he did was shake his head and smile, “Don’t worry. I’ll come back.” 

There was nothing she could say, nothing she wanted to say, she only lowered his gaze so she wouldn’t have to see him leave. 

“Itsuki, stop crying,” Chika laughed and hugged him tighter, “... just do me a favour while I’m gone, you have to… hey look at me… you have to live on, okay? Be happy… there’s no way I’ll ever leave you behind, there’s a part of me that’s always with you.” 

“You’re an i-”, there was no doubt that he knew what he was about to say, so just cutting him off with a kiss wasn’t bad this time, it was never bad, “I love you.” 

“I love you too… but I have to go now, please take care of the twins and Ihei for me.” 

He was strong, stronger than her, he watched them leave while tears streamed down his face. 

“What’s wrong…?” 

“... do you know that feeling…”

“What feeling…?” 

“... when you know that you will never see someone ever again…?”


	7. On a cold winter's day

“You should really hide that…”, maybe it was insensitive of her to talk like that but she really wasn’t happy with way things went. 

“... it’s getting harder…”, Ihei caressed her belly and smiled sadly, “I feel bad for eating half of the rations we have left…” 

“No hard feelings, so many of us died it really doesn’t make a difference,” she wasn’t even cynical anymore, she was just being realistic, “I mean when it boils down… it’s really just you, the twins, Itsuki and me left.” 

“But Chika and Koori will come back!”, Ihei covered her mouth in shame as she realised the didn’t even think of the people that left with them, but the look on Itori’s face said enough, it was soul crushing. 

“I once was in your place too, but I learned how this world works and you should too,” the words didn’t come from a place of jealousy or a malicious intent, but Itori had seen it all before, “You know, in times like these children are valuable goods for the government. Rich people are willing to pay a lot of money for them, they don’t care where they’re coming from.” 

“What are you trying to say - ?” 

“Exactly what you heard, Ihei. They will take your baby away if you're not careful enough. Neither of us is going to snitch, I don’t care if there’ll be another hungry mouth to feed, I’m busy enough teaching the kitten how to code…”, maybe it was time to be completely honest with her now, “I don’t know how much time I have left and I don’t want to die here. So I am sorry that I won’t be able to protect you and the baby from these motherfuckers. But I need to leave. I need to see them again.” 

“I-It’s… okay… I understand…”

“I don’t think you do,” Itori turned away and busily typed something into her computer, “You know when I said we’re doomed the second we start to love someone?” 

Of course she remembered it, “Yeah why?” 

“It’s not really God punishing us, it’s the people who use us as their puppets. I became disposable to them, Itsuki and Chika are used to pressure each other to do everything they want and now they’ll use you against Koori, one way or the other,” her eyes moved rapidly and she held her head, “We doomed ourselves by simply being human…” 

“I don’t think I understand…” 

“Are you really that green or are you taking the piss out of me?”, no, she was serious, “It’s pretty convenient for the higher ups that your cousin only wants to fuck our good doctor, assures them they’re both gonna stay here because they can’t get their fill anywhere else. They probably think the same about Koori but… once they’ll find out you have a baby it’s over.” 

“... but wouldn’t the baby be more of a reason for him to return here…?”, being used like this wasn’t right, it would never be, but she wanted to be happy, there was a little life growing inside her womb after all. 

“He’s the reason why he’ll never leave again, Ihei,” Itori stood up and sighed, “He’ll try to protect you and the baby, there’s no war, no fight that’s more important than your own family.”


	8. Fragile

“Breathe… breathe… and now push harder,” it was the first time he had to see something like this, people died under his hands, they screamed in pain and agony before they never made a sound again, knowing that he would hold a new life in his hands in a short while was an odd feeling. 

Ihei’s lungs hurt as she screamed in pain, her body was working against her and she was sure she wouldn’t survive the night. No, no she had to be strong, she had to be strong for Koori. He would come back soon, he would come back to her and the baby… yes… he would come back. 

“I-I can see the head! Ihei keep pushing!” 

Everything was white, she felt her head fall back, everything was blank. 

The loud scream of a newborn child made her snap out of the nothingness that was about to consume her, “I-Is -” 

Warm tears dripped down on the small child that was wriggling in the doctors hands, screaming as it breathed for the first time, “She’s okay… she’s a beautiful… little girl…” The second liquid she ever touched was the warm water that cleaned her little body, she stopped screaming immediately. 

“Itsuki…? Why is she so quiet…?” 

He carefully wrapped the baby into the only clean towels that were left before he carefully carried her to her mother, “Don’t worry, she just calmed down that’s all.” 

Ihei’s arms felt weak, she could barely contain herself as she finally got to hold her daughter in her arms, “She’s so warm… and so soft…” Now she understood why Itsuki was crying as he held her, it was such an unfamiliar feeling, holding something living and breathing in her arms. Something that gave them hope for the future.


	9. Hana

The trapdoor only ever opened when _they_ showed up. Ihei and Itsuki exchanged worried looks, he had hidden the twins underneath one of the beds they used for patients. It had lain bare for months now. 3 months to be exact. 

“Hana… be quiet… it’s okay…”, Itori’s warning was hanging over her head like a butcher’s knife, even though she knew what would happen, she quietly hoped that Koori and Chika had used the pathway that led here from above ground, but she knew they never did it… because it led past these _things_. 

Heavy steps closed in on the small group and the baby started crying again. 

“Hana please -” 

White silence filled the young mother’s head, there was no way to run, there was nothing she could do, she turned to Itsuki but he had to protect the twins, she wanted to turn to Koori but he was long gone. 

“Ihei Hairu,” an old man with combed back grey hair smiled at her, “It’s nice to see you again, you still remember me, right?” His smile was friendly but it made shivers run down her spine, “I think you know why we’re here.” 

It was all fun and games until one of their puppets gained an own will. Once they didn’t play along their rules it was over. 

“We’ll be taking this now,” it felt like they ripped the soul out of her body while she was still breathing, she was too weak to pull back, her head couldn’t wrap around what happened to her in this very moment. 

Only the desperate cries of her daughter made her snap out of the nothingness that was about to consume her. 

“HANA! GIVE HER BACK, GIVE ME MY -”, she felt the cold muzzle of a gun touch where her fiancé used to place his lips, she slowly wrapped her arms, that used to hold her daughter so lovingly, around her chest that started to freeze without the baby’s warmth. 

“Don’t worry, Miss Ihei. We will find a good home for her,” for a baby that didn’t even cry anymore. 

Only when the trapdoor fell shut, they moved again. Within her chest she felt a pain she hadn’t known before. It felt like a fire that burned her out and left nothing but a figure of clay. Hollow on the inside and brittle to the world. 

“WHY DIDN’T YOU DO SOMETHING? YOU USELESS PIECE OF -”, her fist crashed into his face, he didn’t resist, “WHY DID YOU GET TO KEEP THESE CHILDREN THEY AREN’T EVEN YOURS! YOU WERE NOTHING BUT MY COUSIN’S LITTLE BITCH AND YOU GET TO KEEP THESE BASTARDS - NOT EVEN THEIR OWN PARENTS WANTED THEM AND YOU PLAY MUMMY WITH THEM AND THEY LET YOU.” 

It didn’t feel like her own voice, her body moved on its own as her feet dug into his stomach, while his head smashed against the ground. Everything started with blood and everything ended with it. 

Only when warm red started dripping from his lips, she stopped. Her knees slowly gave in as she sunk to the ground, “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…” 

Silence fell, the only thing she heard was her own voice and this time she was certain it was hers.


	10. A place where they can't find us

“... I… Itsuki…? How… are the… twins…?”, she couldn’t check on them herself, first she had lost her fiancé, then her child… her only family that was left and her best friend. 

“They’re sleeping,” his voice sounded mechanic. 

“... and Chika…?” 

“He’s sleeping too.” 

“... that’s good… would you mind if I go to sleep too…?”

“No, not at all…”

“... Itsuki…”

“Yes?”

“... sleep too…” 

"I can't." 

"... why..."

"I'm scared of nightmares."


End file.
